Meanwhile
I've never past a day without being mesmerized.
About... him. His look, his abilities, his... everything. In every case.
I, constantly, fall over and over again.
I've never known how to say it in words. It just... happens. All day, on every occasion, constantly, never change. Which is indescribable, because, tell me. How could you fall for a person while actually you have fallen for him yesterday?
Isn't that weird?
He drives me crazy, I've never been like t h i s, before. And even though I spent most of my time with him, I remember e v e r y s i n g l e details. He is the reason of most of my choices, his words are the things I'd wait everyday for.
(First hypothesis: I was in love with him, and still am.)
And, no, people. At first, this may feels like one, but it' not the kind of love story you want to hear.
I've ever tried to fall to other boy, just because I really have to know whether I can or not. I have. I had a crushed on the second, and was deeply in love with the third. I thought I have.
Until I realized, however, I'd always fall back for him, at the end. I didn't.
Yes, even I was deeply in love with the third. He is cute.. He treats girls perfectly and he respects everyone... he is such a nice boy, kind of boy who will get a 'yes' from your parents. He was in love with other girl, and it's okay for me. Then he was hurt by her. I had been trying to fix him since I knew it. I failed. And, once again, however I know—I just know it—that he's not the one.
I fell back for the first.
Sometimes I miss the third, because, beside the first, he's the only boy I've ever cared about that much. I still want to know what happens in his new part of life in high school, I still hope that I'd fix him. Someday. He doesn't deserve pain. At all. My heart fell for him. But my soul didn't.
My soul fall for the first.
I've ever asked myself why. Well, all the time.
But some things are better left unspoken. I'm happy with this nescience.
A beautiful disaster, he is. His existence doesn't complete me, I complete it by myself. His existence affects me, but I can live without him. But i won't, after all. After all the things I've ever wanted to reach, to have, to get, I won't. I'll come back, you get it? Once you feel fuller than before, you won't feel enough. You crave for it. My heart doesn't beat faster, it looses a beat or two. Sometimes I doubt him, sometimes he doesn't feel right, but it is. I know.
Because I fall for his soul. Neither physically nor heart. It's s o u l.
To be honest, I rarely never think about how romantic we will be. We won't, ever, date, actually. I don't mind if he has a crush on other girl. He will. I, in other hand, too. We have the same chance to experience new life without each other. To learn. To grow. And in the end, come back. Because all I know is our souls blur together into one. I do my parts. I don't care if his heart is deeply in love with other girl, like I said, because it's his part. I just... don't.
It's neither eros nor philia. My hypothesis has never been as wrong as the one who said that I'm in love with him.
Once again, this feeling needs soul to be felt.
He's so familiar. Like, in some other universe, I was him, and he was me. Or deep inside we are the same person. I don't know why it feels less like I'm getting to remember him every single day..
...not getting to know everything about him.
And everything brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that we were meant to be. Meanwhile, in some other universe, in another time, another place.
We're soulmate in some other existence.
***
—Kylakivska Dimitrova.
About... him. His look, his abilities, his... everything. In every case.
I, constantly, fall over and over again.
I've never known how to say it in words. It just... happens. All day, on every occasion, constantly, never change. Which is indescribable, because, tell me. How could you fall for a person while actually you have fallen for him yesterday?
Isn't that weird?
He drives me crazy, I've never been like t h i s, before. And even though I spent most of my time with him, I remember e v e r y s i n g l e details. He is the reason of most of my choices, his words are the things I'd wait everyday for.
(First hypothesis: I was in love with him, and still am.)
And, no, people. At first, this may feels like one, but it' not the kind of love story you want to hear.
I've ever tried to fall to other boy, just because I really have to know whether I can or not. I have. I had a crushed on the second, and was deeply in love with the third. I thought I have.
Until I realized, however, I'd always fall back for him, at the end. I didn't.
Yes, even I was deeply in love with the third. He is cute.. He treats girls perfectly and he respects everyone... he is such a nice boy, kind of boy who will get a 'yes' from your parents. He was in love with other girl, and it's okay for me. Then he was hurt by her. I had been trying to fix him since I knew it. I failed. And, once again, however I know—I just know it—that he's not the one.
I fell back for the first.
Sometimes I miss the third, because, beside the first, he's the only boy I've ever cared about that much. I still want to know what happens in his new part of life in high school, I still hope that I'd fix him. Someday. He doesn't deserve pain. At all. My heart fell for him. But my soul didn't.
My soul fall for the first.
I've ever asked myself why. Well, all the time.
But some things are better left unspoken. I'm happy with this nescience.
A beautiful disaster, he is. His existence doesn't complete me, I complete it by myself. His existence affects me, but I can live without him. But i won't, after all. After all the things I've ever wanted to reach, to have, to get, I won't. I'll come back, you get it? Once you feel fuller than before, you won't feel enough. You crave for it. My heart doesn't beat faster, it looses a beat or two. Sometimes I doubt him, sometimes he doesn't feel right, but it is. I know.
Because I fall for his soul. Neither physically nor heart. It's s o u l.
To be honest, I rarely never think about how romantic we will be. We won't, ever, date, actually. I don't mind if he has a crush on other girl. He will. I, in other hand, too. We have the same chance to experience new life without each other. To learn. To grow. And in the end, come back. Because all I know is our souls blur together into one. I do my parts. I don't care if his heart is deeply in love with other girl, like I said, because it's his part. I just... don't.
It's neither eros nor philia. My hypothesis has never been as wrong as the one who said that I'm in love with him.
Once again, this feeling needs soul to be felt.
He's so familiar. Like, in some other universe, I was him, and he was me. Or deep inside we are the same person. I don't know why it feels less like I'm getting to remember him every single day..
...not getting to know everything about him.
And everything brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that we were meant to be. Meanwhile, in some other universe, in another time, another place.
We're soulmate in some other existence.
***
—Kylakivska Dimitrova.
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